


I'd Love You to Love Me

by zombaey



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Barbara "Barb" Holland/Nancy Wheeler - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Gen, Multi, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 00:24:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21027218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombaey/pseuds/zombaey
Summary: What could be more of a cliché than the invisible friend of Nancy Wheeler in love with the most popular boy in school? If there's something to be said of stereotypes, they were made to be broken.





	I'd Love You to Love Me

It used to be that riding to school with Nancy Wheeler wasn't any sort of event. The only exciting thing would be which of us would pick the music that week. Barb had worked out the rule originally since it was her car they all rode in. Plus, it gave us a sort of calm before the storm of the school day ahead. This week, it was my turn. Nancy made a sort of noise under her breath which I caught only because I was leaning over the backseat to slide the cassette into the player. Rolling my eyes, I retorted with a playful scoff of my own. 

"C'mon, Nance, I thought you liked Cheap Trick." My smile instantaneous as the first track filled up the car. 

Nancy gave me a half shrug. "I used to before you drove them into the ground," she teased with a musical laugh. Barb glanced over at her and joined in. 

Had I known the vehicle's occupants would turn mutinous this morning, I might have picked a more popular mix tape -- or maybe not. I needed this music today of all days. The evidence was standing in the parking lot as we pulled in, and he was waiting for my carpool partner with a dopey grin and a wave of his long, athletic arm. If anyone else heard my muffled groan from the backseat, they didn't show it. The only hesitation was when Barb waited for me to climb out so that she could lock her doors. I pretended that my science project inhibited me, but really, I was willing myself to disappear and reappear back at home, safely hidden away in my room. After several minutes of blinking, I was still at Hawkins High, and Barb had actually noticed my spasms. 

"Is everything ok?" she asked discreetly as she too avoided the others waiting for us -- or more accurately, Nancy. 

"Fine," I ground out. Shifting the load of the model to my hip, I pointedly gave Steve Harrington a look while holding out the construction. We were supposed to be lab partners, and even though this project was supposed to be made by the both of us, I actually stayed up late last night to finish it because he had to study Trig with Nancy instead. 

Steve was ignoring me, so I tried to balance the weight by myself. It wasn't heavy, but it was oddly shaped making it difficult to get a good grip. 

Barb was gracious enough to right one of the atoms that had fallen awkwardly off its strand before she too turned her attention to Nancy. They shared homeroom, and I would be on my own for the rest of the morning. "Ok, I guess I'll see you guys?" I tried in vain to get Steve's notice one last time. He could at least help me turn the project in since we'd be sharing the grade. But he was already in the middle of flirting and being charming. I suppose he never really turned that part of him off. Except when he thought no one was around to notice. I probably noticed more than I should...

Barb smiled my way and said she'd catch up with me around lunch. Nancy was laughing at something Steve whispered to her but managed to wish me a good day. "Bye," I said then made the long walk to the science lab. From behind me, I heard Steve finally speak up. Stopping in my tracks, my heart lifted for a moment. Until he said, "Oh, thanks for finishing up our assignment, Shell! I really appreciate it. I need a C to get out of there alive." I could hear Tommy H and Carol snicker at his side. My shoulders slumped on their own accord, but I tried to push some pep into my voice to answer him. I still wouldn't turn around in case he would catch the annoyance and a little bit of hopelessness on my face. 

"Yeah, no problem!" To myself, after taking off again, I murmured. "Always a team player." 

  
***  


I wasn't really irritated with Steve. No one could be, or at least, I knew no one who would admit it out loud. He was the golden boy, the most popular boy in Hawkins. He was young and a little arrogant, but he wasn't out to make enemies. He played cute and dumb whenever he couldn't come up with a good enough excuse to slack on his responsibilities, and it worked for him. I was more annoyed with myself for letting him call me smart enough to handle our shared workload on the project. I was mad that I didn't speak up and demand his equal efforts. I was angry that I liked him just like everyone else did and a tiny bit more. I was sad I let his crush on Nancy change my friendship with her. Not that we were ever great friends. I'd met Barb first. She and Nancy were sort of a package deal. When I was younger, I had no reason to complain. You could never have enough friends, right? Things change as things tend to do when teenage hormones become involved. Nancy fit into this new mold while Barb and I floundered along behind her. Barb actually wasn't that bad off. She was more direct than most of the other girls and didn't follow along with some of the games the others tended to play. My mom said she would flourish once she got to college. Me? I was more of a hopeless case. Completely invisible and totally socially inept. Even existing in the presence of Nancy Wheeler, the smartest and most beautiful girl in Hawkins, couldn't save me.

I fit and I didn't... I kept up with Barb and Nancy's smarts, but I wasn't as ambitious as they were when it came to qualifying for the top rankings in the class. I didn't know if I wanted to go to college. I didn't care if I got B's on my tests. When Nancy first caught the eye of the more popular kids, her social climb was gradual but graceful. I had no desire to be noticed like that. The spotlight was something I actively avoided. Whenever my essays were picked to read out in class, I ducked my head. For school plays, I signed myself up for crew work instead of auditioning with the others for the lead role. Because of my friendships with Barb and Nancy though, I wasn't an official outcast. 

I was... an understudy. Whenever Barb couldn't converse with Nancy at lunch because she was sitting with Steve, Barb sat with me. Whenever Steve couldn't partner up with Nancy on a science project because she was in the AP course, he partnered up with me instead. Whenever Barb was away on a weekend trip with her parents, Nancy would come over to my house to get a break from hers and catch up on homework. 

The thing was, I didn't mind this role. It was comfortable. Except when everyone had their part in place, it sort of left me out in the wings. After dropping off the model in the lab, I made my way to homeroom and found myself alone. Alone in a crowd. That was the only time I let myself notice how lonely I truly felt. Comfortable in my isolation. Perfectly safe in the middle, yes. Still all alone. 

"Shelley? Shelley Jones?" the teacher repeated, finger poised on the roll sheet. 

"Here," I answered from my seat in the back of the room. Eyes turning back to the window, I placed my hands open over my notebook as I held a pen ready in my hand. 

"Excuse me," a voice came from the other side of me. It took me a moment to realize it was talking to me, and when I finally turned back, I realized it was Jonathan Byers who spoke. 

"Yeah? Sorry, I was out of it for a minute." My smile was faint and nervous. 

"It's ok. Hey, you're Nancy's friend, right? Nancy Wheeler?"

I blinked, surprised at the question. Or maybe more surprised at the label. All I could do was nod back in affirmation. 

He reached out across the row of desks and handed me a notebook. It was thick with clippings and had some drawings sticking out. "Could you maybe give this to her? It's for her brother Mike. Will said he's gonna need it for the next campaign." 

It was no secret to me that Nancy's brother played D&D with his group of middle school friends, so I wasn't confused by the statement. Smiling broader, I nodded again. I wondered how anyone could call me smart when I acted this way sometimes. "Sure, of course." I took the notebook and put it in my bag. "I'll make sure she gets it." 

Jonathan followed my movements, content that he'd saw his little brother's request through. "Thanks." 

My lips parted, ready to ask why he didn't just give it to her himself, but he'd already turned back around in his desk. The teacher was handing out some papers, and his attention was back on the class. Biting my bottom lip to trap the sound in my throat, I looked down at my blank notebook. 

Jonathan had been going to school with us since we were kids. He kept to himself mostly with only a handful of friends to call his own. Just like me. Unlike me, he was actually known for having a camera on his person at all times. He worked with the school yearbook and was known to be a decent photographer. 

He got decent grades too, he went pretty much unnoticed, and he knew things with the help of his camera others chose to ignore or couldn't see unless someone else pointed it out to them.

My focus was back on him in a flash. "Hey, J--Jonathan," I muttered so that the teacher wouldn't call me out for interrupting. 

The boy did a double take then nodded for me to continue. 

"Um, do you--do you like Cheap Trick by chance?"

For a minute, I thought he'd stare a hole through my head. The question was as random as a horse walking through the door, but after the initial shock wore off, a grin lit up his features. I don't think I'd ever seen him smile before now. It made me smile back at him. My humor held a little embarrassment to it. 

"Yeah, they're cool. You listen to rock music?" he asked in a low reply.

I nodded again. This time, it was a more enthusiastic. 

"I could lend you a tape if you're looking for something new."

"Yeah!" My face turned red as I shrunk back in my seat. Students in front of us spared a glance, but otherwise, the rest of the class went on unperturbed. "That'd be cool," I whispered. 

Jonathan chuckled quietly. "Ok, cool." 

We turned back to the front of the class and payed attention to the papers the teacher was going over with us. I felt lighter than when I first entered the room. Not so hopeless after all.


End file.
